It's such a wonder how much words can capture. Writing is like an immortalizer if there is such a thing, almost like a time machine. It captures. But just like a picture (which according to the song paints a thousand words) it can never truly capture everything. Zoom in and you get a clear image. Zoom in several times more and it pixelates. Unperfect. One's very lucky to have an 8 megapixel camera. The human brain, however, is not as sharp. We need aides, mementos to help us recall.

Reading the things I have written, I remember, am transported back to that time with the things distinct surfacing. The emotions, thoughts, smells, colors, but most importantly, the emotions.

Usually, I resort to writing when I'm tired or depressed and treat it as an outlet. I find time to contemplate only when I am not feeling well. I now realize this error. If I keep this up, I'll end up immortalizing more moments I would rather not remember than those I would.

No, it's not that I will stop writing about my horrible, forgettable, regrettable moments. It's just that I want to be able to write more and reflect more on the beautiful, the happy, the memorable. It would be such a shame to have only one side of the story. I wanna be able to look back and see that I had my fair share of life in its bittersweetness.

The wisdom of remembering the good: It is essential to contentment.

The wisdom of remembering the not-so-good: It is essential to learning.

I will try to write them all.

Currently listening to: Lover, You Should've Come Over

Missing my farmboy this morning. He's probably still snoring. I really wanna erase all the heartaches. But i guess that's just not possible. Some heartaches are self-imposed. It's when the green-eyed monster gnaws at my heart during his absence. It is paranoia. And yet all my worries, my irrational thoughts, everything dissolves into dust in his presence. How could he do that? Perhaps he is superman. He's the superhero that always turns up in my dreams, and, to my amazement, in my reality.

He'll be leaving soon and I guess that just brings me notches closer to psychosis. No, he'll be back. It's just one year. He made me promise to wait for him. And I did. I do.

The other night, my farmboy was in Cagayan and I went out with the gang. Kaye told me something beautiful. He had had a bit too much to drink and he told her "Please go out with Vida when I'm gone. I'm really in love with her. I don't wanna lose her." Unglamorous. At the same time sweet. To me, it meant the world.

I wonder if I can stand life miles apart from my superman.