I just love hanging out with my Ayala cousins! I just spent new year's eve and the whole day today on Lolo Chito's island! It was so great. I felt like a princess, being the only girl cousin. Pampered am I! We went kayakking and swimming, devoured tons of food and had lots of laughs. For two kayak trips I had my own personal slaves, my cousins JC and Uno respectively, so I didn't really have to row. I can't believe I still do not know how to really swim. I could do the doggie paddle but that's about it. Fun fun fun!

I got rather tipsy last night after only one goblet of wine! I laughed my head off over such petty things. We started the new year with a great fireworks display plus the falling explosive debris. Nobody was hurt, thank God!

I almost wasn't able to go because nobody else wanted to go and mum had a scare from the Asia Quake and Tsunami Attacks! She didn't want me to go off to an island but she consented in the end. Just come back alive, she said. Before I left, Lola said: Say hi to the floating zombies! Lola is so funny! I just love her. It's gonna be her birthday tomorrow and we're going to the beach again!

My cousin Jaime and I got really close this time. I'm really glad that we could still actually relate with each other despite distance ( He studies in Juilliard University in New York, major in Theatre!) He promised to buy me the soundtrack of Before Sunset when he gets to New York! I am so thrilled! I hope to see him again during spring break in February.

JC was so funny, doing impersonations of Lola Teresita and Tita Tessie. He's such a comedian. I couldn't stop laughing. Lolo Chito even insisted that he do an impersonation of him but JC says he could only do extremes. Jaime scolds him every now and then for being so melodramatic and for getting so caught up in his role. He might lose himself.

Mama Ita was so encouraging about China. She told me that I should go to Shanghai (the New York of Asia) and that I better make sure to be there so that they'd have a tour guide the next time they visit China. That surely gives me more motivation to start looking for a job in China already. I'm so excited for the future. At the same time, I'm also so scared. I hope I won't disappoint the very high expectations my family has of me.

How I wish I could spend the 31st and the 1st again with them on the island next year!

Currently feeling: hung over from saltwater!

I'm 6 feet below the ground. Almost dead from all the work. About to tear all of my hair out. Insanity seeping in.

All I want to do now is run around the campus and scream. But then on second thought, I wouldn't dare. It is way too late for me to be escaping from my dormitorial prison only to embark on what could be a close encounter with beings from the afterlife. Scary.

Ateneo is dark at night. The dorm, however, never sleeps. People are always up, studying, watching movies, eating, or doing nothing. So many people. So few I can really relate with in the deepest, most meaningful sense of the word. "Relate."

I miss home. I miss my family. I miss being pampered. I hate having to pay good money just to stuff junk into my mouth (talk about McDo!) I miss Lola's hot homecooked meals. I miss the annoying bark and wag of little daschund Golda, the soulful eyes of Black Jack, and the extremely pinchable nose of blue-eyed Lucky Potato. (My baby doggies!)

My arrival in Manila was marked by a sweeping nostalgia. I couldn't think of anything but home.

It's a good thing I had Jaime to talk to and to comfort me. We had dinner at Eastwood. Lasagna for me and Pasta Alberto for him at Fazoli's. Dessert was yummy--choco decadent at Jack's Loft. It's funny how me and Jaime could totally relate. He's the one cousin I have with whom I could totally feel comfortable being myself, without reservations. Despite our differences, we could talk about anything. Anything. I wish I knew more people I could relate to like Jaime. He was on TV last Saturday. He was interviewed for the lifestyle segment of Buhay Pinoy on RPN 9 to talk about his life as a student in Juilliard.


Jaime and Me in T.O.S.H.

I am so darn proud we have the same blood running through our veins! I could say the same for many members of my family who really have artistic talent like Lolo, Lola, Tito Joey, Tita Cynthia, Byke, Freeda, Andrei, Jed and even Kuya Jaku. I sometimes feel deprived, isolated in a sense, being the only one who couldn't be good at anything except studying. (What a nerd!) Where did all the artistic genes go? Evidently, not here.

My family looks up to me. I am their one hope of a descendant of Joe and Tita Ayala who graduates, gets a decent job, earns well and doesn't get married out of wedlock. (No offense, cousins.) I just know that it is up to me to break the cycle. And I will.

What do I care about sizes? As long as I'm healthy and get to eat what I want.

Happiness comes in large packages.

Currently listening to: my conscience telling me to stop netting and start studying!

Lean sent me this picture of us on the island via Friendster. It was so much fun and we really bonded a lot last New Year.

Reading Socrates' Apologia and about Socrates' life, I had always been outraged with the way the Greeks had reacted to and executed Socrates. Being the righteous person that I am, I felt that he should have been treated with more respect if not reverence.

But having gone through a very hellish oral exam last Saturday made me rethink my conviction. People need not those questions that deliberately confuse, you get so flushed even before having had the chance to answer the question. And it's just for the sake of making you appear stupid. Now, I can understand why the real Socrates is history.

Currently feeling: foolish